Its my birthday

Me and my sister's birthdays are today. And no, we are not twins. I was just her most amazing birthday present EVER.

I love birthdays. Being able to be selfish for a day and make sure everyone knows its all about you is pretty awesome. :)

so yes, Happy birthday to me. :)

Crazy year, age 19 has been for me... Lots of tough learning experiences, but, I guess that's why we call them experiences huh?

Farewell for now Friends.

Its my birthday. :)

I Love You

So, I decided to do something today. Something much cooler then the stupid facebook games that have been floating around*. I decided to tell some of my closest friends what they were to me, and what that meant. So, I will re-post here as well for your reading pleasure.

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-Kaitlyn. You are the sister. 

I never have to worry about who I am when I am with you, because I know no matter what, you will love me. You help me to better myself when others fail to do so. I can always count on you no matter the situation. And while I am not always the perfect me, I will always be your little bro. 

I love you sissy. 

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Makenzie, you are the life long friend.

I don't know what it is Makenzie, but I don't think even if we tried we would ever lose connection with one another. Even when we have a long break of talking or seeing each other, it takes one conversation for us to get back to right where we left off. I am thankful for a good friend like you I ...can always count on to be ready to listen, even if we were across the world from each other.

Love ya Kenzie. :D

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Sergio, you are the bro.

There are times when I wish I was as cool as you dude. No joke. You are chill no matter the situation, and you are friends with everyone you meet. I remember when I would bad mouth some people, and you would always put me in my place lettin me know they were just as cool as me. 

 

I love you man. Don't forget it.

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Ammon. You're the friend.

Every time I need someone to listen and give feedback, you are there, and you speak from your heart and mind and don't spare me any details, because you know that the truth is what I need, even if it hurts. You ALWAYS know how to have a good time. You aren't afraid of how you are percieved, and that is somethi...ng I need to learn from you. You are yourself, and everyone loves you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.

Love you man. 

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AJ, you are the homie. 

I don't have a single other friend who would hate someone who has wronged me like I know you will. That may sound like a stupid thing to say, but its a sign of a true friend. Sometimes I feel like I fail you as a friend, but I know that you would have my back in any situation, and I am lucky to have my Samoan brother right there for me whenever something goes wrong.

 

Love you bro.

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Pricillia, you are the shoulder to cry on.

You have a very kind heart in you. You would do anything for your friends, even if these friends continually rattle your cage for the fun of it. :P If I am having a rough day, I know I can count on you to be there for me, to listen to me, and to give me a look into my situation through the eyes of Pricillia.

Love ya Pricillia. :P

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Lori, you are the confidant.

Our friendship started in a curious way. For some reason, when I felt I had no one to talk to about my life, I let everything out on you. And that will go down as one of the best decisions I have ever made. I will never regret a day I spend with Lori Truman.

Love you Lori.

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Mark, you are the bigger little brother.

I think I have always seen you as a little brother in some ways. And because of that, I always saw it as my right to be "too cool" for you. But that is no longer true. You have grown up (in multiple ways hahaha) and now you are just one of the guys. And I have learned a lot from you this past ye...ar, and, in more then one way, I look up to you Marky. 

Love you man.

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Kat, you are the happy friend.

I have never known you to be a sad person. Even when you are in a bad mood, I still see you finding a way to smile. I want to learn to be more like you and smile life away, because life is too short to be unhappy with it.

Love you Kat. :)

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 Well, thats all for now. :)

Farewell for now Friends

*Some of these facebook trends included... - "Post a pic of your fav cartoon as a child as your profile pic!"... "message me a number in my inbox and I will secretly say something about you in my status!"... 

Ya... this is much cooler then that. :)

Yessss

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

Free Album Sample. The Best Techno Band That Has Ever Lived.

Love me some Daft Punkkkkkkkkk.

If the movie tanks, I wouldn't mind. I got some more Daft Punk to listen to. I will see them with my brother Jason before I die. Or, at least I really, really, really hope I get to.

TRON: LEGACY - Daft Punk's "Derezzed"

Days till Christmas.

So, Christmas time is amazing, as always. Love the feel of the heater in the morning, love the lights, love the hot cocoa and the sweets, love the family time. And, I even love the music, despite giving my mom a hard time about it. AND once school is out, I will be LOVING THE FREE TIME TO SPEND HOW I WISH!!

But with all the joys of Christmas there are always those things you wish you had to make Christmas just that much more special. Well, this will be my first Christmas in awhile that I wont have anyone special to think about or to hold close. So, in that way, I feel this Christmas will be a little tough.

Song to set the mood : NevershoutNever- 30 Days

:

Ya ya Rub it in Frosty. We both know this relationship wont last past the winter.

But that wont stop me from having an amazing Christmas. I have a pretty good feeling that something good is gonna happen to me this winter season, as I have had a streak of bad winters since I got bopped in the eyeball with a plastic rocket and almost lost my eye. So, the streak has to end soon, and I am determined to make it this one!

Farewell for now Friends

Letting go. For good.

Well, today I have taken the first step of many for what I see as necessary change for the better. I'm pretty sure step one was by FAAAAARRRR the hardest, so it's only gonna get easier from here... right? *

So, some notes...

I never want to go through this again. Lets just say cutting a huge piece of your past out of your life for good, isn't the funnest thing... It is quite possibly the least fun thing.

BUT, having said that, it was necessary... I learned through a very rough 6 months that the past is the past, you can't bring it back, people change... And so do I.

Yes, there will be songs that I will hate hearing, movies I will never want to watch, places I will refuse to visit...

But worst, there will be memories I have only myself to share with. 

And it will hurt...

___

All I can do is take one step in the right direction each and every day, and I know I will be blessed, and I will be able to avoid this kind of pain again.

And how do I do that?

I focus on myself. I'm tired of worrying about other peoples problems when the #1 Problem is... Well, ME.

At least it is for... me? >_< I think you get the point.

I'm very thankful for caring friends, new and old, who are always there for me when I need them.
And of course, I'm thankful for my family, who no matter how much I wrong them, ALWAYS love me with every bit of their heart.

No worries. Apple Cider

So here's to me. Focusing on me.

Farewell for now Friends

*Optimistic: Something I have trouble being...

Then other days make me

:(

I am on some kind of emotional roller coaster right now. And most all of it is things just bouncing around in my head.

How are other peoples actions STILL dictating how I feel?  I thought I dropped that awhile ago...

And then there is this- Why am I jumping to conclusions and buying into something that will most likely never happen??
 I guess I just want something good so bad, I am finding ways to believe something I really really want to happen is bound to happen since things haven't been so hot for me lately... But that isn't how things always work. And now I am digging myself in a bigger hole by thinking so hard about things I should just let be instead of analyzing every little thing until I convince myself things are worse then they really are!

Its funny how quickly emotions can bounce up and down. I was flying so high the other day, and now I just...  

idk.

I just need to cool it. Play it cool Kevin.
Just.
Play.
It.
Coooool.


Farewell for now Friends.